HERE’S THE THING!
The world is in a mess. It’s in a mess mostly because of the absence of Real Men. I am not talking about perfect men; I’m not referring to girly men, intellectual men, rich men or ladies men. I am speaking here of Real Men.
I am so passionate about the absence of Real Men and the need for Real Men to step forward that I have spent the last four years writing my MANual. How cool is that name for a book on how to be a real man – a MANual. A MANual that gives guidance and understanding to what it takes to be a Real Man. To unpack the MANual in a short newsletter would be silly, so I will just give you some highlights.
Real Men don’t allow other men to hurt women and children. Idiots and cowards hit women and children; Real Men protect them.
Real Men stand up against crime, corruption and evil. Cowards do crime; they also use weapons against people who are unarmed and they generally need to be with a gang of people because they can’t do jack-sh1t on their own. Real Men stand and fight the good fight alone.
It seems that being a Real Man is misunderstood. Being a Real Man is not being a neanderthal or in touch with your feminine side. It’s not being rich or good-looking or smart, or a humanitarian, although it can be all of these things, some of them or none of them; being a Real Man is so much more than all of these things. This may not make any sense to you but when you read the MANual’s description you will see what it takes to be a Real Man. I’ve left a taste for you below.
Let me make this brief; the world needs Real Men and they need them now. We need to start cultivating and teaching our children and young men what it takes to be one. To that end, we need to get rid of all of the coward male teachers who are hiding out in our schools, bullying young boys and hiding behind the dictatorships; threatening to remove your kids if you stand up to them. Let’s face it, most teachers are just people who never left school and now hang out in schools with their false power. Men among boys, but boys among men. Are there Real Men teachers? There probably are – I just haven’t met them yet! Sorry, I lie. I did meet a teacher in Soweto who spends his free time helping kids pass – he was a Real Man. Mike Murning – Geography 1980/1, great teacher – Real Man. Dave Balt 1975/76, a fearless headmaster. We need to be Real Man dads and have our kids around Real Men teachers.
We need to educate our young girls and women on what Real Men are and what they need to look out for when meeting one. Mostly they need to demand of their men to step up and be Real Men.
A REAL MAN is courageous, authentic, he has integrity, is honourable, takes pride in all that he does and cares.
A REAL MAN gets stuff done, and provides for and supports his family. He speaks about the elephant in the room; he does his best at all times; says it like it is; stands up for his beliefs; speaks the truth; does what needs doing; will fight the enemy but also knows when to walk away. He believes in the majority of one; doesn’t shirk his responsibilities; doesn’t quit; and he’s not a d1ck.
A REAL MAN doesn’t take cr4p from anyone; doesn’t pretend to be perfect, doesn’t hide from his mistakes, doesn’t do metro sexual – he grooms, he doesn’t cry in front of his horse. A Real Man cries – in “Legends Of The Fall” – when Tristan sits at his younger brothers’ grave and says how he couldn’t save him. Man cry!!!
A REAL MAN loves and respects women; he doesn’t take cr4p from a woman; he commits and stays committed; he is loyal and faithful; owns up to his mistakes and takes the consequences like a man. He says sorry. He will never hit a woman and will always step forward for a woman’s honour. He shows his feelings by what he does not by what he says. He sets up a “stuff you” fund for his wife. He doesn’t need to be changed, moulded, altered or turned into someone’s girlfriend. Ladies you have to stop the trying to change him s#1t. He wants to be her hero; he needs to be appreciated; he wants space; to be admired; to feel supported; and to be loved for who he is. He has feelings; loves a challenge and gets scared. More than anything he needs to be a Real Man.
A REAL MAN knows that money is energy; he always pays cash; he knows that money doesn’t make him a man; he protects the money machine; gets money working for him, and he teaches his children the value of money. He studies money; is in control of his own money, and he pays his own way. He doesn’t need hand outs, but he is not too proud to ask for help. He always invests and spends wisely. He doesn’t have short arms and long pockets when it’s his turn to chip in.
A REAL MAN sees, cares and acts. He believes in things even if they are not a reality now. He has self-control and his word is his gold; A Real Man knows that his happiness is his own responsibility.
A REAL MAN provides for and protects his children. He is a Daddy and not a Father and creates a loving, homely environment. He leads by example; puts his family first; he lets them learn the hard lessons and as a Real Dad he knows about “the sacrifice”.
The first 30 years of being a parent are the hardest!
A REAL MAN works, and knows that work is hard but he works harder. He knows that work needs constant improvement and that he has to make it fun. He gets that work and life are all a game and about selling his goods – the stuff that he is good at. He chooses to work and knows that no matter how tough it gets he has to get up every day, smile and grind. For a Real Man, working is an honour and a privilege. So he does his best, is always on time, doesn’t ask for stuff and works on becoming indispensable.
A REAL MAN works out; is physically active; goes to the doctor; eats healthy; knows how to relax; thinks about risk and doesn’t need alcohol to have a good time. In fact Real Men don’t need alcohol at all. Alcohol is the root cause of most evil, crime and deaths on the roads.
A REAL MAN is all about education; he is always bettering himself mentally, building relationships; learning to accept and love himself. He asks questions and is always listening. He lets things go, lets things be, and always works on his super power – Self-control.
A REAL MAN is a friend who always has your back and knows that friends will come and friends will go. As a friend he will defend you, keep his promises and your secrets. He will always be honest; he will forgive, forget, fix and move on. He will hold you accountable and tell you when you’re full of $h1t.
A REAL MAN gets involved in his community. He donates his time and money; knows his neighbours, is a good citizen and votes. He supports local, while thinking global and understands that it takes a village to raise a child.
A REAL MAN is genuine, kind, true, and an independent person of courage and toughness. He takes action, fears no one, and has a sense of humour. He has character, is humble, good and has fun. A Real Man has honour and integrity; he fights against all odds for equality, dignity and justice. He always stands up for the underdog and is loyal to a fault. He fights evil at every turn and has no time for “belly aching and whining”.
A Real Man is and wants to be someone’s hero, someone’s champion. When odds are stacked against him, he will always overcome or at least die trying. When all hope seems to be gone he digs deep and through courage, determination and a no quit attitude he comes through. Real Men are flawed and in one way or another have to face their demons but they always come out the other side as better men.
That’s impossible! No one can be like this and have all of these traits. This is an imaginary man.
Not true. All of these characteristics are unpacked in The MANual and there are men, Real Men who conduct themselves this way (or try to conduct themselves this way) every day. Real Men know they have to start somewhere so all you have to do is look at the last line and live like that until it becomes a habit and then tackle the next one. Being a Real Man is a journey and it starts new every day.
“A Real Man is a genuine, kind, true, independent person of courage and toughness. He takes action, fears no one, and has a sense of humour.” – Gavin Sharples