So, I’m reading this really interesting book and I come across a line that makes me stop, and sit in quiet contemplation trying not to let the top of my head explode. The line is simple in structure and difficult to understand if it’s not in context. Here it is –
“all moorings are loosed”
Okay, so I don’t want this to be a difficult and involved message so let me give you a quick bit of context. Based on dozens of books that I have read, and my thirst for knowledge on how humans function, I have come to learn that one of the key purposes, objectives (goals if you will), for most human beings is To Be Free. We seek financial freedom, the freedom to pursue the career of our dreams, the freedom to go where we want, to say what we want to, and to be able to afford anything we want. We wish to be free to come and go as we please, to work only if we want to, to do jobs we choose to, and we reject any form of restriction. Then how come is it that we take jobs we don’t like, buy houses and cars we can’t afford, associate with people we don’t like? How come do we sign leases and HP contracts, employment contracts and credit contracts, thereby tying ourselves down and placing restrictions on our entire existence?
HERE’S THE THING!
Isn’t it strange how we tie ourselves down to debt, relationships, locations and friendships that bring about the exact opposite outcomes to our intention to be free? We become slaves to debt. Chained to repayments and interest fees. This debt is created by ourselves in a misguided attempt to purchase mobility in the form of a car, and yet we are then tied to the vehicle for up to 6 years in payments and insurances. We have children, adopt pets and buy plants that we have to water, look after, support and give our time to. Some people don’t even go on holidays because they have to stay home and look after their dogs! How many of us would love to move to another town but can’t because of our job? How many of us are still so involved in fashion, trends, make-up, clothing and other “stuff” that we are handcuffed – moored – to our stuff?
Someone once said, “you can’t explore the seven seas unless you have the courage to leave the safety of the harbor!”
The challenge as I see it, is that most people are tied to the harbor with moorings of debt, insecurities and fear.
Here’s another one that will blow your mind, “all of man’s problems stem from his inability to sit alone, quietly in a room!” Okay, that one needs an aspirin.
How many of us have friendships that have long passed their sell-by-date? Throughout the course of your life people will come and they will go. Some people will stay awhile, and others may only interact with you for a moment, but each one is there to help you find your bliss. Some of them unfortunately stay too long. Some were actually there to take from you; and via guilt or other emotion, they were able to manipulate you, and then stayed for far too long.
What is your definition of freedom? Without knowing and understanding this, nothing will change and you probably will never be truly FREE. Yes, you can justify or rationalize (tell rational – lies), but the truth will always be there, knowing that you are not living to your full potential. If you know your definition of freedom, then go to it. And the only way to go to it, the only way that you will ever be able to be happy and free, is when “all moorings are loosed.”
Recently two 20-year friendship moors just loosened. And here’s the crazy thing – I really didn’t do anything. They just seemed to loosen on their own, and all I had to do was to acknowledge that it was time, and let the ropes unravel and fall into the water. I know that the friendships were extremely one-sided and based partly (ok mostly), out of my fears and misguided need to be liked. I know! How pathetic is that? The need to be liked by average people! Imagine if we placed the same amount of energy and effort on trying to be liked by remarkable people. Special people. Kind and loving people.
When “all moorings are loosed”, you have the wonderful opportunity to stand-alone and focus all of that attention, effort and love onto yourself, because the only true way to freedom, true freedom, is to like and love you. The strange realization is that in order to be liked by others you have to like yourself. I can hear that George Benson song in my head, The Greatest Love of All; “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all.” Damn, this piece is getting deeper with every line I write; I’m even quoting Jazz poets.
In order to never be moored, you need to practice the sacred art of detachment. To love and to care with all of your heart knowing that at any moment the object of your attention or affection, can, may, and probably will, leave. And when they do, when they cast aside your moorings it’s natural, expected and perfect. Ask anyone with children who become of age.
How many of us are tied to poor eating habits? The lashings of rope around your ankles which keeps you coming back, poisoning you every day – with junk food. Or are you tied to a relationship that no longer brings you joy or even worse, doesn’t allow you to give your joy. The “poephol” has to go – South African wisdom!
You have to un-moor from all relationships and pursuits, debts and circumstances that you don’t need and which are holding you in the harbor. You also need to practice detachment from the moorings that cannot be loosened at this time. Their time will come, as it should because then all moorings will be loosed.
Now I need to lie down.
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