Aug 19, 2019
Nov 8, 2019



One of the golden rules of being a Real Man is that you never raise your hand to a woman. Full stop. It’s actually quite sad, humiliating and pathetic that I, or anyone else, would have to include a “man rule” advising or recommending males never, ever hit a woman. I don’t know what kind of upbringing you had, and quite frankly I really don’t give a crap, one thing I know and believe is – that you never hit a girl or a woman.

For the lowlife, scum, male life forms out there who may be confused this includes; stalking, harassing, sexually harassing, making inappropriate and or sexual advances or suggestions (in person or via any form of social media), indecently assaulting, touching, groping, raping, beating, torturing, and killing a woman, girl or child. We clear?

Now, psychiatrists and psychologists, sociologists and many other intellectuals with an ‘ologist’ in their title, will try to rationalise and justify why they couldn’t help but use violence. Again, I couldn’t care less. One of our single biggest purposes as men is to protect and defend women and children. If you raise your hand to a woman you are the lowest form of life on this planet.

Men who hit women are nothing more than cowards, bullies and criminals. A Real Man protects his children and he will never stoop so low as to beat a person who he is morally and spiritually tasked with defending and protecting. When the protector becomes the bully or the violator, a fundamental crack is created in the fabric of a woman or child’s mind that can never be mended.



How can anyone in his right mind physically hit a woman? There can be many justifications and reasons for raising your hands to women. Yes, that does sound a bit odd. Let me explain. I have known of women who have done some pretty crappy things to men. They have cheated on them with their brothers; they have neglected or beaten their children; they have stolen all of the family’s money; the list goes on and on, as does the unfortunate conduct of some women. And in almost all of these cases, men would have a justifiable reason to assault a woman BUT THEY DON’T.

This is my point. You never hit a woman. Even if there are justifiable reasons to do so, you just don’t do it

Of all of the lessons that men have to teach their sons, not raising your hand to a woman for any reason must be one of the top five Golden Rules of being a Real Man. Young boy’s copy what they see. Young girls grow up and seek out a man who has the same or similar values to that of their fathers. To a large extent the man your daughter chooses to marry is a reflection on you and your values.

There are no words to show how strongly I feel about males never committing physical violence against women. Just Don’t.



You don’t need a reward for not being an “ahole”.
You will be a Real Man.
You will be able to live in a relationship based not on fear but on trust and safety.





  1. Are you going to be provoked by women? You bet you will.
  2. In fact, the more you love her the more she will be able to get under your skin and turn you into a raging volcano. The more we love and the more passion we feel, the easier it is for us to lose our temper, but that is no excuse to use violence against a person who cannot in any shape or form, for the most part, defend herself or stand up against you physically. I once dated a woman who I loved more than … okay there are no words to explain how deeply I felt about her, and because of this she had the ability to push my buttons like no one else. No matter how I lost it, my Dad had always taught me never to hit a woman. There was not a single door in my house that didn’t have a hole in it, but I never raised my hand to her.

The Golden Rule is to walk away. Keep walking and go and cool down. I know that they can really push your buttons, so when you feel yourself losing your temper take a time out, walk away, regain your composure but never raise your hand to her!

  1. Can’t walk away and you need to hit something? Try the concrete wall next to you, rather than laying a finger on that woman or that child.
  2. If you are a physical type, invest in a punching bag. Hang it up in your garage and go at it every day if you have to – to work out your frustrations.
  3. Never Hit a Woman! That’s it: it’s the unbreakable rule.
  4. Here is some actual law. You don’t necessarily have to assault somebody to be charged with assault. You merely have to imply or threaten to the extent that the person feels as if an assault is or was imminent. Guess you didn’t know that? By walking up and threatening someone in a violent physical manner you can be found guilty of assault. Think of that the next time you lose your temper.



It’s easy to say now but I just couldn’t help myself?

What a load of cr4p.

Here’s my theory. In every town and every city around the world there are tough guys. Hard men. I’m talking about men who fight almost every night and most of them are either ex-boxers or cage fighters. We all know them, we all know about them and if you want to meet one, they are easy to find. Now-let’s say you get into an argument with one of them and you happen to lose your temper – which you won’t because you will talk to them with the utmost respect because you know who they are – you know you will be drinking out of a straw and urinating out of a bag for a good six months in intensive care… that’s if you even make it to intensive care.

Isn’t it amazing how we “can’t control ourselves” around people who we perceive are weaker than us, but put the same pond scum in a situation where he knows he’s going to get his 4rse kicked, and all of a sudden – self-control, manners and diplomacy are his super powers.

You are a bully and a coward if you hit a woman. Shame on you! Pick on someone your own gender and size; someone that will hit back and then tell me you couldn’t help yourself.

She cheated on me!

If you can’t forgive and forget rather walk away in silence and never, ever, acknowledge her existence again. Let her become no one, a ghost; no talking, no e-mails, no letters or any form of correspondence.  Delete all of her numbers from your phone and don’t allow her to pull you down to her level. It’s tough I know, just move on and never raise your hand to her. Words hurt, but silence … silence can do more damage than any fist can. “Distance doesn’t separate, silence separates”.  Obviously, you need to try and sort it out calmly if you can, this idea is just what I would do if I couldn’t control the rage. Walk away my friend.



“How to stop a 30-year-old from hitting a woman; speak to him when he is 12”


“He was a weak man, the sort who needed to crush a woman in order to feel powerful.”

John Mark Green

Have a great month!


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  1. Paola Crystal says:

    Very good article! Now men need to adhere. Thank you

  2. Jackie says:

    Hi Gavin,

    Thank you for the above. As a woman I really appreciate it.

    Kind Regards,

  3. Martin Meredith says:

    How do we get this message/ article into EVERY classroom in schools??

    Kind regards,

    • Basil Baum says:

      Whole heartily agree
      You don’t lift a hand to a women or a girl
      Actually why use violence with anyone
      Learnt that from young
      Good that you brought it up again

  4. Clive says:

    Ek stem

  5. Peter says:

    Actually, in my opinion, it is never okay to hit anyone, male or female. If you are prone to violence take up a sport like boxing or cage fighting to air your frustrations and where you will quickly be put on your place. Thanks Gavin.

  6. Gesina says:

    Gavvie, you’re very good !!!! Very good.

  7. Jason says:

    Excellent perspective Gavin, and well written. I thinks it’s important that you pointed out that verbal abuse is equal to physical abuse in terms of the harm it causes. Too often people don’t see it that way because the scars on on the inside.

  8. Peter Wainwright says:

    I couldn’t agree more. There is no excuse, no justification, ever!

  9. Lydia Thobile Magagula says:

    shhhh yoooo – thanks for your information

  10. Colleen says:

    The lessons and thoughts shared here are priceless, as a woman I have to ask, who is speaking up for us not to raise our hands to the men on our lives. I am sure there are men who are abused and feel shamed to say so, for me the bottom line is simple, we need to re-iterate RESPECT each other, does not matter whether you are a male or female, live this value for all to see, and this could change many lives and the future of our country.

  11. Githa says:

    Excellent article. children must be taught from a young age that any form of violence is not acceptable.

  12. Tanya Jackson says:

    Love this straight talking to the point article, let’s share it everywhere!

  13. Flippie says:

    Fantastic information for us men Gavin…for the women read “Open our hearts to men” Susan Jeffers…then we can Tango,because it takes two.

  14. Alma says:

    Great article! I tried to justify even hand raise by him being annoyed by my words. But you are right – NEVER IS NEVER! ZERO TOLERANCE! This article made me feel actually really great! Thanks Gavin

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