October 3, 2018
December 10, 2018


I don’t know if you are like me, always looking for answers to life’s questions. Some people don’t bother themselves with stuff like this, and just go about their lives living in reaction to circumstances as they play out in their everyday lives. In a way, I envy the sleepwalkers. They question nothing, seek nothing, try nothing and just complain a lot and blame others for their situations. Me, I want answers and I ask and question every second of the day. Here’s a big one –  How come is it, that some people achieve more than others when given equal situations? How come do some marriages succeed when others (58% to be exact), will end in divorce? How come do some people succeed on a diet while others don’t? How is it that some people are able to save, sacrifice and invest and others, not so much? How is it that every month, the same people outperform all the others in sales or KPA? How is it that some people will (and do) exercise, think about others, put in the hours, make the time, take a moment, say the words, pitch up, see it through, never quit and do what needs doing and others just quit and couldn’t be bothered?

Well I have the answer

I discovered it on my own, and I have been speaking about it for a while now. It’s so big, so massive that I really feel people don’t grasp its full implications. Either that, or the people I have explained it to realize the depth and the simplicity and realize that; it is in some way (who am I kidding – it’s all the way), pointing a finger at the person hearing the one quintessential lesson of all lessons.


This one truth is a game changer. This one truth can save you a fortune. It will stop wasting your time and money trying to get people to do …. well, anything.

If it’s important enough then you will – they will – find the time, make the effort and do whatever it takes. So, stop searching for reasons why your staff members don’t do what they need to do. Cancel the personal coach and the NLP course because you have the answer. If it’s something you want to do, you will do it. Because those who want to will, those who don’t – wont. 

Have you ever noticed that the people who really want to do something – do it! People generally find the money for things that they really want. Even if they buy on credit – they make a plan.

When people exercise, study, or take time to visit their grandmother, it’s because they want to.  If your partner is not being intimate with you, not being considerate, not spending time with you, it’s because – THEY DON’T WANT TO.  People make time for the people and things they value and love.  If they are important enough to you, YOU will make the time and do the do’s – and not only because it’s important to them and the relationship; you do because you want to do.  Because those who want to will, those who don’t – won’t. 



Our actions demonstrate how we feel (listen to this) IN OUR DEEDS. Our deeds demonstrate, without the possibility of words being misunderstood, our actual feelings. No clearer communication can there be – than our ACTIONS.

YOUR ACTIONS SHOUT OUT YOUR FEELING TOWARDS A PERSON. And what they clearly and unequivocally demonstrate is – “I JUST DON’T WANT TO, BECAUSE I JUST DON’T CARE”

  • Your daily actions tell how you feel about him or her.
  • Your daily actions demonstrate how you feel about your kids, your family, and your relationships.
  • Your daily actions show in deed how you feel about your job, your clients, and your future.
  • When you are late you show us how unimportant we are, please tell me you get this?
  • Your daily / weekly non-actions, tells your boss how unimportant the job is and as an extension – how little you value him. “You are not worth my time or effort!” You are not saying that, you are screaming it into his face –  in deed!
  • Your daily actions show how you feel about your body and your mind.
  • Your daily / weekly non-actions, tells everyone how unimportant your health and body is to you.

If you really want to lose the weight, if you really want to get fitter and healthier you would literally do whatever it takes – every day, to get there. I am not at my goal weight and fitness level because I don’t want to give up some processed, tasty foods. I don’t want to never eat take-outs and burgers and pizza. I know what it takes to look like a Greek God but I am not prepared to sacrifice the pain and my lifestyle to look like I need the toilet really badly; and I don’t want to learn Greek. I’m not in denial – I get it. I don’t want to!

Your daily / weekly / monthly non-actions, tells your partner how unimportant they / the relationship is and how little you value them. Not only are they not worth any effort they aren’t even worth a few minutes a day or every other day. 

  • Show me what you do and you will show me how much you care about me.
  • Show me what you do and you will show me how important I am.
  • Show me what you do and you will show me how you truly feel.

Love is an action. Service is an action. Respect is an action.  

When we want to do something, we show people how important they are, how much we value them and how much we want to be with them; how much we want to do with them, for them and because of them. When we want to, no effort or sacrifice is needed. You are never too busy and you make the time. It literally is “my pleasure!”

When we spend the time, make the thing, do the job, and are on time, never miss a day – we SHOW what we value in deed.  When we WANT to do something it’s difficult to do a bad job. You see when we want to – we don’t have to try, or make an effort, because our heart is in it! A truth – which all staff should read. 

  • When we want to – we act with excitement and passion and love.
  • When we want to – we don’t have to be persuaded, reminded, motivated or incentivized.
  • When we want to – we find the energy, stay up longer, don’t need excuses and we do it with passion. 

You see when we want to – we will. When we don’t want to, we won’t. 

If you have to motivate someone to do something, they don’t want to do it. So, move on and give your time, love and effort to those who want to.




What if I have no time? No one is too busy; it all depends on where you are on their list of priorities and whether they want to do it or not. When people show you how little you mean to them, believe them.




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  1. Petra says:

    Love that and very true, we all have the same amount of hours, but am I willing to put in the time or sacrifice to achieve it. Comes down to how badly I want it and how much someone means to me. Thank you so much, needed that reminder

  2. Shirley van Rensburg says:

    Wow. What in incredibly honest and raw article. Thank you!

  3. Monica H says:

    Brilliant brilliant brilliant!

  4. Shantel N says:

    Abosolutely fabulous newsletter – Thank you !

  5. Jackie says:

    Brilliant. Have to share this one

  6. Leonie Maritz says:

    Excellent!!! If you think about this it comes down towards your attitude to life!
    Love your news letters, short and to the point.

  7. Gary Coetzee says:

    Spot on Gavin. As with most things in life, it boils down to choice.

  8. Roberta says:

    Great – as usual! Choice & attitude!

  9. Ana Pinho says:

    So deep, wise and troof-ful – this time of the year, where do you find all of these words, Gav!? Good job, keep it up!!

  10. Janet Masson says:

    Yes . Well said as always

  11. Roberta Cottle says:

    Very true. If it has to be it is up to me. Attitude is everything and choices we make. Thanks Gavin

  12. Anita says:

    Once again spot on.

  13. Dave says:

    Magic thank you Gav – Perfectomundo

  14. Peter says:

    The raw truth which I wholeheartedly agree with. I think these days (briefly drifting back to a previous article you penned) the don’t want to is there partly due to the lack of accountability. They don’t have to do what is expected or asked of them. the mind-set these days should be more forward thinking but people have become lazier which affects virtually every aspect of their lives.
    Won’t mention names (though I should) but trying to deal with certain big telecommunications companies in South Africa is mind bending as I sincerely believe they just don’t care enough to make a positive difference in their customer’s lives let alone their own.

  15. Yolanda van Zyl says:

    Gavin Sharples, you are the most insightful human being that I have ever met. Your article is so true and on point.

  16. Delphine says:

    SO SO True!!

  17. Cecelia Gerber says:

    Excellent and something to think about!!!

  18. Francis Govender says:

    Well said Gavin. I am asthmatic and do very little exercise. I would like to add that after I have heard your motivational speech at the Goreefers conference, I was pumped up to make a difference. I am in currently working Namibia for the grape season and have started exercising by walking and is making a difference to my life. your inspiration on watsapp is really motivating and keeps me going. keep sending and keep up the good work- you are making a difference to people’s lives.

  19. Mary Shilleto says:


    If you really want to do something and make a difference, YOU will find the time and energy and do it.


  20. Lucille Maujean says:

    Brilliantly defined as usual – it is a lesson I must learn not to expect everyone to want to be passionate about what I find important and move on.
    A question: What does the heart and number represent above the picture?

  21. Amelia Sequeira says:

    Absolutely spot on. Cutting through the chase to the real aspects. 🙂 Great food for thought. Thanks Gavin.

  22. Jyothika M says:

    Gavin, this newsletter is simply amazing 🙂 It is good to be associated with like minded human beings. Thanks for your inspiration

  23. angela says:

    Love it… specially coming from a male perspective. This is stuff women say … and the response is …. “wait, you didn’t give me time… I was going to do it”
    We (women) are just nagging, emotional and demanding, this throws out the assumption the other half just doesn’t care or care enough… but the truth is exactly that…

  24. Beverley-Ann Fink says:

    You really hit the nail on the head. For me actions speak far louder than words .
    If another person makes the excuse of being “busy” I will not be held responsible for my actions.
    In my book if you really want to do something you’ll find the time .
    You are such an inspiration and love the fact that you don’t sugar coat what you say

  25. Chris Voogt says:

    Excellent & so True

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